A Married Conversation About Our Current Cricket Infestation

“I just had a terrible thought.”

“What’s that?”

“What if those aren’t really crickets we keep finding in the house?”

“They’re crickets.”

“But what if they’re some weird kind of roach we’ve just never seen before?”

“They’re crickets.”

“But what if—”

“Crickets. All of them.”

“But how can you be sure?”

“Roaches don’t chirp.”

(beat) “Are you sure you heard them—”

“I’ll call the exterminator.”

“Not if they’re crickets!”

 

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